As you may recall from a couple weeks ago, I’m deep in the middle of weight-loss hell.
A full month of ingesting what feels like next to nothing, pretending as though various forms of plant life pass as satisfying snacks.
Tomatoes instead of crackers, salads minus croutons, bulking up every conceivable dinner dish with about 60 pounds of mushrooms.
Nary a breakfast bread in sight.
Unfortunately, my middle-aged body doesn’t respond to sheer deprivation the way it used to, and the stupid needle on the scale has been stubbornly clinging to the same number for about a week now, despite the persistent hunger pangs.
So, along with some added pressure my from Lose It! app, I’ve been forced to start doing something I dislike even more than low-carb sandwich wraps: Exercise.
As in, voluntarily breaking a sweat on a regular and consistent basis.
I know, it’s shocking.
Luckily though, as you may recall from several weeks further back, I do actually enjoy true crime podcasts. So I’ve taken to listening to them while I work out, to help distract me from my plight.
Some people listen to music, I listen to murder.
Hey, whatever works to get my body moving — so that my thighs can start shrinking — is worth a download in my book.
For my fellow murderinos out there, I thought I’d pass along a couple particularly good ones I’ve come across.
Maybe you too are trying to whittle your waistlines and need your attention diverted from that evil treadmill, or perhaps you’re in perfect condition (in which case I hate you) and simply dig a good crime yarn — either way, these will have to covered.
— “Cold” by Wondery, 18 episodes, about an hour each. Painstakingly researched, “Cold” examines the case of Susan Powell, who disappeared in 2009, right around the same time her husband Josh claimed he and his two sons were out of town on an inexplicable camping trip in the middle of a blizzard. A devout Mormon, Powell was unhappy in her marriage, but determined to stick — unfortunately, all evidence seems to show Josh opted for a permanent out. Despite suspicions, police were unable to arrest Josh, and the whole ordeal ends in even more tragedy.
— “Happy Face,” 12 episodes, roughly 30 minutes apiece. Ever heard of the Happy Face Killer, Keith Hunter Jesperson? Jesperson is a serial murderer who has confessed to torturing and killing eight women during the ’90s. He’s so named because of his penchant for signing his letters to the media with a smiley face. The podcast takes a look at the effect Jesperson’s evil has had on his daughter, Melissa, who has struggled her entire adult life coming to terms with his legacy.
— “Last Seen,” by WBUR and The Boston Globe, 11 episodes, about 40 minutes each. Because murder isn’t the only interesting crime — I love a big heist, too. “Last Seen” delves into the largest unsolved art theft in history: 13 priceless pieces stolen from Boston’s Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in 1990. Can’t say how it ends, because I’m only halfway through.
So I guess I’d better get off my fat butt and onto the trail to find out.
Katie McDowell is a lifestyles/copy editor for The Dominion Post. Email kmcdowell@dominionpost.com.
