When the anxiety gets bad, binge the Fab 5

October 1, 2019

There are times when I want to get out of my own head so badly, my skin crawls from the desire to shed it. The sensation is so palpable, so disquieting, uncomfortable and unpleasant, that, if I’m able, I will head directly for the shower, where I will stand under scalding hot water for as long as I can, to try to make it stop. If I’m not, then I mostly just have to get up and pace around until the urge to run screaming into the void passes — or at least lets up a little. After all, no matter where to go, there you are, right? Great! You’re outside! You’re still ...

I just went to Greece, but let me tell you about some podcasts instead

September 15, 2019

For the three or so people who may have turned to this page last week specifically to read this column and wondered (hoped?) if perhaps I’d quit or gotten fired, the answer is no — I was simply away on vacation. Just a few days ago, I returned from a 10-day stint in Greece, spending time in Athens and on a couple of their less-touristy islands, Aegina and Hydra. After pulling 50- to 60-hour weeks for the last many months, it definitely provided a much-needed break, as well as an opportunity to visit a country to which I’ve never been. But I’m not going to write ...

Check on your empaths, we are not OK

August 25, 2019

There’s a short animation video that’s gone viral lately, titled “The Life of an Empath.” In it, we see an all-white figure as he goes about his day, encountering others who are experiencing some sort of trauma. All of these people have a portion of their bodies colored black — a darkness that is absorbed by the empath as he comforts them. By the end of his journey, each of the people left behind feels better, but the empath returns home filled entirely in ebony. That is, until he hugs his dog, and the gloom falls from them both. Start to finish, it runs only ...

Movie plans means reunion with some old (pretend) friends

August 11, 2019

Movie plans means reunion with some old (pretend) friends For a lady with no social life, I have a wide array of friends. There are my baking friends and my makeover friends. My tattoo artist friends and my forensics expert friends. My flea market-flipping friends and my politician friends. My friends who debunk Scientology and the ones who solve cold cases. My buddies who bust internet catfish and my pals who are stuck in maximum security prison. And, of course, my vaguely royal, very classy friends, who own a lovely home in the English countryside staffed by a bevy ...

Podcasts make exercise tolerable

July 28, 2019

As you may recall from a couple weeks ago, I’m deep in the middle of weight-loss hell. A full month of ingesting what feels like next to nothing, pretending as though various forms of plant life pass as satisfying snacks. Tomatoes instead of crackers, salads minus croutons, bulking up every conceivable dinner dish with about 60 pounds of mushrooms. Nary a breakfast bread in sight. Unfortunately, my middle-aged body doesn’t respond to sheer deprivation the way it used to, and the stupid needle on the scale has been stubbornly clinging to the same number for about a ...

My newest frenemy is a weight-loss app

July 14, 2019

I am so hungry. Normally, I wouldn’t begin a column — or any piece of writing, really — by simply logging on and typing my current state. No readable memoir ever began with something so banal as “I am sad. Now read my stuff.” But I’m on deadline, and I just had a cup of blueberries for lunch — my whole lunch — so it’s pretty much all I can come up with at the moment. And while, yes, it would be fair to point to a lack of imagination on my part, I’m choosing instead to place the blame in the same spot I’ve placed it for every negative emotion ...