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As those of us in our 70s, 80s and beyond slowly climb that high mountain of aging, we have a clearer view of our lives, our goals, our joys and even our sorrows. This long climb often teaches us us some interesting and important lessons along the way. Now and then the a question about old age comes up, mostly from young friends who are curious about aging. "What's it like to grow old?" they ask. That question can have a huge variety of answers, and it also can shine a strong but often neglected light on our own attitude toward aging. Surely experiencing our 70s, 80s and beyond has given us some useful and important insights that will carry us into the coming years with a stronger sense of peace, joy and contentment.
One of those insights that is difficult to deal with is our agonizing over past mistakes and missed opportunities. I cannot imagine anyone finding it easy to learn from their mistakes, yet learn we must if we are to go forward without repeating them. Holding onto past hurts, grudges, mistakes, missed opportunities does nothing to make the present and whatever future we have easier, more peaceful. As Mandy Hale puts it so well: 'Your destiny will never be found in the rear view mirror".
Growing old has its downside, its swamps and quicksand, but it also is, and should be, a time of gratitude for the life we are living. We guard whatever good health we have in our elder years. We appreciate the fact that we wake up every morning, are able to get out of bed, walk, think, breathe, care for ourselves and our home, be here in the present to live another day.
In our late 60s, retirement brings freedom. By the time we reach our 7th and 8th decades, we should have a better understanding of how to keep that precious freedom from being eroded by the demands made upon our time. Hopefully, we have learned how to say "No", gently, quietly, firmly. Our young friends who question us about old age are probably still running the good race, busy with any number of commitments. Keeping busy during our elder years can be a good thing, as long as it does not get completely out of our control. Keeping our friendships in good repair is also important. According to several recent studies, in our elder years, we don't need a huge circle of friends but it is important to have a few close friends with whom we can have a meaningful, deep relationship. We have learned to keep these friendships strong, to tend and nourish them as we would carefully tend and nourish a garden. Along with special people in our lives, we also need periods of solitude, especially as we age. Sometimes we need to shut off the noise and confusion of the world. So much is coming at us every day from watching news on TV, scrolling on our phone, and other communication sources. We'll find it's good to take a break from this constant information. Of course, it's important to stay in touch with whatever is happening in our own country and beyond, but the constant blast of sad and sometimes horrifying news can drain the soul and damage our peace of mind.
The young friends who pose the question about growing old are understandably curious about old age. They may even fear it. To them I would say: Aging is a gift not everyone receives. Using that gift mindfully and well can bring peace, strength and contentment.