During the years I’ve been writing this column — far more than I care to count — I’ve covered a litany of topics.
Shoes. Dressing room mirrors. Feeling fat. Motivational memes. Chocolate commercials. Movies and TV. Feeling fat. Break-ups. Breakdowns. Going out. Staying in. Feeling fat. Cocktail hour. The end to cocktail hour. Dogs. Feeling fat.
I’ve shared stories from my social life and the demise of my social life. Advice offered by my therapist and gleaned from bathroom walls.
Thoughts on trends, women’s rights, animal issues, awards shows, Facebook quizzes, Yahoo surveys and whatever else I felt I could ramble on about for 20 inches.
But never, not in my wildest dreams, did I think I’d be struggling to find something to write about while in the midst of a worldwide plague.
A figurative one, maybe — the fame of the Kardashians, for instance.
But definitely not this.
Never anything like this.
I’ve made a career — both on the page and off — out of making light of things I take seriously.
But this pandemic may just have me beat.
I’m finding it harder and harder to find humor, especially when it feels like so many people still aren’t taking it nearly seriously enough.
Now, I realize that being a self-professed homebody already, the concept of social distancing is not as challenging to me as it may be to others. I spent nearly every evening in already, long before COVID-19 arrived.
But I’m here to tell you, if Dan McCawley, King of the Extroverts, can manage to put his social requirements on hold, work from home and not find excuses to venture out, then honestly, anyone can.
We have to be in this together, people, and that means staying apart for now — and until the doctors, researchers and experts tell us it’s safe. We are literally talking about life and death here.
It could take awhile, and we need to be prepared for that. But it certainly won’t be forever.
I may not be a social butterfly, but I promise you I’m as excited to get back to normal as anyone — however, we can’t be in a hurry.
And even when we do, normal might not be the same after all this. I have a feeling it won’t be. Truthfully, that’s fine.
We could probably all stand to engage in a bit of introspection and evolution. Our society could benefit from some adjustments, too.
Will there be a massive sea change? I doubt it. I’m still feeling fat as ever, for one thing.
But I also bought a sleeveless jumpsuit I saw on Instagram anyway. So, if I can contemplate baring my arms for the first time since 2015, perhaps anything is possible.
Hope, it springs eternal.
I’ll leave you with some wise words from a McClafferty’s stall that have served me well through the years. May they guide you during these difficult times, as well.
“Don’t stick your elbow out too far, it might wind up in another man’s car.
“And don’t lose your head, not even for a minute. You need your head because your brain is in it.”
Katie McDowell is the enterprise editor and lifestyles columnist at The Dominion Post. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.